Pick Up Sticks

What Will We Learn

A friend posted this article on Facebook the other day. It is so true and really makes you think about what is really important and what we will take away from this crisis. One paragraph in particular hit me hard.

Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting

“From one citizen to another, I beg of you: Take a deep breath, ignore the deafening noise, and think deeply about what you want to put back into your life. This is our chance to define a new version of normal, a rare and truly sacred (yes, sacred) opportunity to get rid of the bullshit and to only bring back what works for us, what makes our lives richer, what makes our kids happier, what makes us truly proud. We get to Marie Kondo the shit out of it all. We care deeply about one another. That is clear. That can be seen in every supportive Facebook post, in every meal dropped off for a neighbor, in every Zoom birthday party. We are a good people. And as a good people, we want to define — on our own terms — what this country looks like in five, 10, 50 years. This is our chance to do that, the biggest one we have ever gotten. And the best one we’ll ever get.”

Really good article - so thought provoking. What will you put back into your life after this crisis? I’ve thought a lot about this these past few weeks. What will the new normal look like? I’ve learned a lot. I’ve realized how much I miss my family and friends. I’ve always known that but this made it hit much harder. But we’ve found new ways to see one another...we need to keep that up. I need to show my parents how to use video chat so I can “see” them more often too. I’ve learned not to waste anything; not to take the freedom to go anywhere and do anything for granted; that I can make time for exercise despite a crazy work schedule; that taking care of myself feels great; getting fresh air everyday is a must...even on cold, rainy, windy days; to appreciate the ordinary and mundane; that I don’t need as much stuff; to stop putting things off for a better time...and so much more.

What will you take away from this?

Sunday Evening

 

Eeking out every last bit of the weekend. Not much of a weekend as I worked both days...but it's a gorgeous evening and I'm going to just sit here and read a bit. The weekend started great on Friday night with pizza and drinks on the deck with neighbors who have become friends. We always laugh a lot when together! And is ending here on Sunday with the birds chattering away, cicadas loudly buzzing, beautiful light as the day becomes evening...and a wonderful book.

Reading Harry's Trees and loving it!

3 years - Really?!?!?

I knew I hadn't blogged in a while, but I never thought it had been three years. So much has happened. I think I got tired of blogging because so many blogs only show the "good side" of life. But life isn't always perfect. Sometimes it is ugly and hard.  I also found myself blogging to keep up with the cool crowd - joining in with similar posts and trying to keep up.

I know I have said this before but I really didn't start blogging to be part of the cool crowd.  I have always loved to write and keep journals and felt blogging was a great way to keep track of life - with pictures - while not having to scrapbook.

So here I am back at it.  

And I am trying to get back on track - in life in general.

Last year was hard - really hard.  My mother was diagnosed with cancer.  My parents don't live near me - they are 9 hours away.  It was hard not to be there to help on a regular basis.  I was there for her surgery and every few weeks after that.  But it was unbearably hard not to be there more often.  She had several months of chemo and as of today is doing really well.

But also during that time my job got out of control.  I always have complained about the really long hours I worked but last summer hit an all time high.  I found myself working 7 days a week, 65+ hours a week.  I get paid for 35 hours a week.  I nearly had a nervous breakdown.  Seriously - I don't think anyone knew the deep, darkness I felt I was in. I regularly cried on my way to and from work.  I felt like all I did was work, eat (way too much) and sleep.  I was still working out with a trainer 2 nights a week but I was eating everything in sight and my weight slowly crept up.  In March of this year I stopped working out.  My knees and joints ached - probably from the extra weight, sitting too much and the crappy food I was eating.  Inflammation is not just the buzz word of the season; it is debilitating. 

Earlier this spring I finally said to my boss - This has to stop!  While I have said this before and he recognized there was a problem at work, this time I pushed, and pushed, and pushed back some more. While I did not threaten to leave I think he realized that is where I was headed. 

Long story short there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I work for a nonprofit.  I am the controller for a large statewide program that funds 14 other programs across the state.  I do the accounting, grant  writing/management, payroll, HR and admin for my organization but also another program we fund.  Their accounting has gotten more challenging and time consuming as they have diversified their funding. They are in the process of hiring their own controller.  This means my workload will only be for the main nonprofit I work for. So maybe for the first time in 8 years I will have a normal workload and somewhat normal hours. 

I am giddy!  Seriously giddy.  I am also looking at it as an opportunity to take back my life - in lots of ways. If you have never been overwhelmed with life - like really overwhelmed on a daily basis - you might not understand where I am coming from.  I know lots of people work long hours.  But I had gotten to the point where I was drowning - barely holding my head above water.  And it affected every aspect of my life.  I became disorganized - at work, at home, in everything I was doing.  My house is a mess.  If you came to my house you wouldn't see that because the 'public' parts of my house are neat and clean. But our bedroom and my craftroom are cluttered.  A cluttered bedroom is not a good thing. I am not sleeping well.  Either I wake up at 3 am wide awake thinking about what needs to be done or I am in a deep, disturbed sleep from which I wake up feeling groggy - almost like a hangover. I am eating really crappy - really crappy. I can't focus. It is a vicious, ugly circle.

So my goals are to slowly take back my life not waiting until the change at work is complete. I started getting up earlier a few weeks ago and working out on my own.  Slowly getting back to lifting weights and yoga and stretches.

I have been doing some research since last fall about eating better and looking into a vegetarian way of eating.  I have read a lot about it.  Books by Dr. Furhman (Eat to Live), Rip Esstelyn (Engine 2), Dr. McDougal, and more.  The science behind it all is so sound and makes so much sense.  I have gone weeks eating this way and feel great - fog lifted.  But then stress gets the best of me and I slip back into old habits. My old habits include binge eating and sneak eating.  My husband - who has always been supportive - says he never sees me overeat.  Yep - because I am a sneak eater.  Have been since I was a kid.  My sister and I both were.  I was a terribly skinny kid.  My mother was always trying to lose weight - despite not really being overweight.  When she went on a diet the whole family did.  My sister and I would sneak snacks.  This got easier to do when we were older and could drive.  And while this never caught up with me and made me gain weight as a teen and young adult, it did in my 30s.

So today I start my journey again to eating healthier and taking my life back.  I say this as I sit at work taking a short break.  Yep on a Sunday; after working 9 hours yesterday.  But I still feel like I am on the way to making changes.  Yesterday I ate goldfish crackers and almonds for lunch.  This morning as I was leaving for work I threw frozen veggies and brown rice into a container for lunch.  Progress!

I plan to blog more. No set schedule. Not joining in with the cool kids posts. I want to journal my progress, my crafting, my gardening...just regular life...just for me.  And sometimes it will be ugly. But it will be real. And hopefully it will help me to see patterns, and progress towards a better, healthier life. And maybe it will help someone else.  Maybe they can see that life is flawed and hard but there are ways to get past it and still move forward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weekend Cooking

I've said this a million times on the blog - because I work really long hours during the week (hello - 60 hours minimum) I tend to cook on Sunday for the week.  If I didn't we would either eat out a lot or not eat until 9 pm - neither which are very healthy.  I am lucky that my husband doesn't mind leftovers - because essentially that is what it ends up being - leftovers from my cooking marathons on Sunday. I am also lucky he doesn't mind eating the same thing multiple times during the week.

There are not too many things I am rigid about but meal planning and grocery shopping are two I am - mostly because I need both to be efficient.  I plan meals based on what's on sale, what's in season and what's our schedule for the week like.  I write a tentative meal list - making changes if I find something on sale while shopping.  I also make my grocery lists based on the aisles of the store - I know a bit strange - but this makes grocery shopping much more efficient.  And since I hate shopping - of any kind - efficiency is the key.

This past weekend I had gotten some lovely huge peppers and patty pan squash from the local farm stand. Stuffing them for several meals this week sounded really good.  Growing up my mom stuffed peppers the traditional way - with ground beef and rice.  This is how my husband remembers them from his mom as well.  When I started making these a few years ago I wanted something different. Mine have a Mexican flair to them. 

Here is my 'recipe':

• 3 large bell peppers - cut lengthwise with seeds removed.  I know most people take the tops off but this makes more shallow 'boats' that cook faster and the portion size isn't as large.
• 1 lb. ground chicken thighs - although beef or turkey would work just as well.
• Any combo of veggies you like - I use about 2-3 cups of diced veggies and change it up depending on what I have on hand - carrots, peppers, onions, zucchini, peas, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, potatoes (gold or sweet or a combo). Dice all about the same size so they cook evenly.
• 1 tbs of olive oil
• 1 cup salsa
• Cumin, chili powder, garlic, smoked paprika, red chili flakes

Brown ground meat until fully cooked. Remove from pan and set aside. Drain any grease from pan.  Add a small amount of olive oil to pan.  Add diced veggies and cook until slightly softened - but still have a bite to them.  Stir meat back in.  Add spices.  I don't measure.  I start with about 1 tbs. chili pepper, 2 tsps. each of cumin and garlic, 1 tsp. of smoked paprika and a dash of red chili flakes.  I mix this all together and let it cook a bit to meld the flavors.  Then taste it.  Add more spices if you think it's too bland. We like it spicy!

Put peppers in the bottom of a casserole dish.  Fill each one with the mix to overflowing.  Typically there is some leftover - it freezes fine for a quick meal later that can be added to a taco salad or taco shell.  Add salsa to the bottom of the casserole dish along with about 1/2 - 1 cup of water.  This takes the place of the tomato sauce in traditional stuffed peppers recipe. You really only want it to cover the bottom of the casserole and create some steam when baking.

Cover casserole with foil.  Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes or until peppers are softened. Spoon sauce in bottom over peppers when serving. These reheat very nicely and fit into my gluten-free eating. If you use a salsa with no added sugar then this fits into a Whole 30 or Paleo style diet.  If you are eating low-carb you could leave out the potatoes. I only use about 1 small Yukon gold or half a sweet potato.

I've used the same filling for patty pan squash or even zucchini.  When I use the squash I scoop out the insides and add them to the veggies I sauté so nothing goes to waste.

Typically I make one or two meals that can be eaten twice each.  Or as in the case this week I made the stuffed peppers and squash and plan one night for a crockpot meal.  I also cut up all the veggies for salads for lunches this week.  Since I was already chopping veggies for meal prep this made it easy.

This really doesn't take much time on a Sunday.  Typically an hour of prep and some additional time for cooking.  During the winter months I tend to make some things in bulk - like gluten-free meatballs or soups or chili - that can be frozen and kept for a really easy dinner in the future.

 

Weekending

I so look forward to weekends - especially ones where every minute isn't busy. With our sons living in opposite directions (one 3 hours NE and one 4.5 hours south) we are seeing lots of travel on weekends in our future.  But this weekend we were home - without a long list of to-do's.  And it was heavenly - although I should have been a wee bit more productive.

Friday we typically have happy hour at home on our deck but our new local brewery - Tattered Flag Brewery - was open and we knew it was going to be too hot to sit outside at home. We headed down for a drink and a snack.  Nothing like eating chips and salsa for dinner.  I tried one of their mojitos and while it was good I like my own better as this was really super sweet.  Plus expensive!

Saturday we were up early and on the road to a lake about an hour east of us. We wanted to get on the water before the heat of the day started.  It was 68 degrees when we left at 7 am. We put in the water about 8:15 am at Blue Marsh Lake and headed up the Tulpehocken Creek.  While the water was very murky we had fun exploring the creek and saw tons of great blue herons, ducks, turtles and a snowy heron.  Three hours on the water was just enough.  We'll go back there again.

On the drive to the lake we saw several signs that caught our eye - winery, pick your own blackberries and a farm stand with ice cream. While we were not dressed for a wine tasting we thought we would try to hit up the other two places on the way back through.  But when we got off the water it was 86 degrees and neither one of us wanted to try and pick berries - although I am regretting that decision now.  We did stop for an ice cream - teaberry for him and blackberry for me.  Honestly - the ice cream was just ok and not worth the calories.

Do you see a trend here?  Really terrible eating this weekend - chips and salsa for Friday dinner and ice cream for Saturday lunch. I redeemed my eating by making fish on Saturday with a stir fry of really lovely veggies.  On the fish I used up the last of a spice blend I really like from Penzey's - Arizona Dreaming.  I cooked the fish in a pan with a bit of olive oil and thinly sliced peppers along with a generous sprinkling of the spice blend.  It was wonderful - if I do say so myself! Sunday we had salmon for dinner with sugar snap peas and tiny red potatoes from my garden.  And I made a big batch of stuffed peppers and stuffed patty pan squash for dinners this week.  Luckily my husband doesn't mind reheats. The stuffing I use is not the typical pepper stuffing of ground beef and rice.  I'll share my recipe another day.

The best part of the weekend was having our son, DIL and newest granddaughter stop on their way back through from vacation in SC.  We had their dogs part of the time while they were gone.  They stopped for a quick visit - just enough time to get in some baby snuggles.  I swear she grew since we saw her the weekend prior!

All in all a really nice weekend. 

Joining up with Karen for her weekending posts.

Apologies!!!

I typically do not go back and look at blog posts after published.  I use to get emails when someone commented but lately hadn't received any.  I honestly thought no one was reading and commenting since I am such a sporadic blogger.  Much to my embarrassment I glanced at old posts only to find so many lovely comments - especially on the post about our newest granddaughter.  

Accept my apologies!  I've changed my settings a bit to hopefully receive notifications again. And I have high hopes to blog more regularly.

10 on Tuesday

Carole's prompt for this week's 10 on Tuesday is very appropriate - 10 Ways to Beat the Heat.  I think that is the biggest topic of conversation around here - as we are headed into day 5 or so of 90+ degree weather with more this coming week. and since I HATE heat and humidity I always have some ways to beat it.

• Saturday morning we beat the heat by  being up early and getting on the water by 7:30 am.  It was already nearly 80 degrees but the water felt great - trailing out feet helped.  And no one else was around - we only saw one other kayaker. When we got off the water it was 91...
• Staying indoors - our house does not have central air but we have been using our window units way more than normal.  Even for sleeping and I hate sleeping with the AC. I also hate being indoors so much...
• Eating lighter.  When it is this hot we tend to eat lighter - more salads and fruits, less carbs. Also less using the oven and stove which keeps the kitchen cooler.
• Go swimming - while this isn't something I typically do this weather may push me to a pool.
• Dress in more lightweight clothes.  I find myself wearing dresses in the summer - and sleeveless ones at that. They are much cooler and easier to wear. Plus most of them do not require ironing - just wash and hang.
• I've stopped using a hairdryer.  Granted this also came from letting my hair grow a bit and stop fighting my curls.  I wash, add some product, let dry and "fluff".  Helps so much in the mornings when I would get hot again drying my hair after just having a shower.
• Drinks lots of water - and iced tea and coffee.
• Use fans in the house and my office.  Sometimes you just need to get the air circulating to feel a bit cooler.
• Head north.  That is our plan for vacation next week.  Long range forecast shows daytime temps in the mid to high 70's and nighttime around 60 - my kind of weather!

Reset

Several months ago I wrote this post about feeling good and being on the right track.  As I tend to do, shortly after this post I got off track with my eating and went off the deep end with carbs.  UGH!!! It always amazes me how long it takes to take weight off and how quickly it comes back on.  By mid-June I had put back on 8 or 9 lbs of what I had lost.  

During this time I saw this posted on Instagram - and it fit my life at that moment so well.  I had continued the 'healthy eating' talk but was not following through with my actions.

I knew I had to get back on track with my eating.  Nothing was working. I tend to stress eat - and work is kicking my butt at the moment.   I decided to do another Whole 30.  I started on June 27th.  So far so good.  What amazes me is that it's been easy - most of the time.  I honestly love healthy food - especially right now when the farm stands are full of great local veggies and fruits.  I've done these before and it is like a reset for me.  Gets me back on track.  The things I miss the most are cheese and sriracha - and maybe wine - and cream in my coffee.  I've substituted sriracha with Louisiana hot sauce which tastes almost the same - just doesn't have any sugar in it. And while I still can;'t drink hot coffee black I;e found I can do iced coffee black.

One thing that amazes me when I do a Whole 30 is thinking outside the box.  Like - what to eat for breakfast?  I get tired of eggs very easily and find myself eating dinner leftovers for breakfast.  Like Egg-roll in a bowl - swapping out ground chicken thighs for the sausage and coconut aminos for the soy sauce.  This is so good.  And when I was out of coconut aminos I used a tsp or so of Thai green chili paste.  I also find myself using more spices and herbs. I am loving Penzey's spices right now.  My favorite is Arizona Dreaming - a really fun blend of spices.  I BBQd shrimp with it on and it was fabulous!!!!

Let's hope this gets me moving back in the right direction.

 

10 on Tuesday

Joining Carole Knits for 10 on Tuesday.  the prompt this week "10 things you did this weekend"

• Did a drive by drop off of food, beer and kiddie fun (bubbles and sidewalk chalk) at my family reunion on Saturday.  We were not able to attend because....
• We spent much of Saturday at the hospital waiting for our newest granddaughter to be born!  She arrived late in the evening after a long, hard delivery.  Her name is Elliotte Lucille.  And respecting our son and DIL's wishes I won't share any more details or pictures.  They are limiting how and where pictures are posted.  But let me tell you she is beautiful!  We got to hear her first cries from the waiting room which brought tears to all for grandparents' eyes for sure. I was able to see her briefly before we headed to our son's house to...
• Watched our son's dog's while they were in the hospital.  They are the sweetest and we enjoyed them - even if it was only for a bit.  The ride to their house from the hospital was long and dark (an hour) on winding roads.  We saw a ton of deer along the way.
• Sunday we went back to the hospital and spent some time with our son and DIL and took turns holding the baby  - who slept the whole time.  There is nothing like holding a newborn - and the sweetest smell of all!
• Drove the 4 hours back home later on Sunday.  We were lucky enough to get back in time to see our oldest and his family who were back in the are to finish packing their house up for next week's move to VA.  The girls were swimming and the littlest sang to us - Itsy Bitsy Spider.  Then we had a lovely evening on the patio around the firepit listening to music. It was a cool evening so perfect for a fire.
• 

 

• Monday I had planned on working a bit but bagged it.  It was a holiday after all.  I cleaned and grocery shopped. Did all the laundry.
• Prepped meals for the week.  I just finished my first week of a Whole 30 and the only way to stay on track is to prep and plan ahead.
• Made a delicious (if I do say so myself) fruit salad.  At the last minute I added fresh mint.  It was yummy! This was to take to...
• We went to a neighbor's for a seafood boil/cookout.  We had so much fun despite the rain.  It poured all afternoon and into the evening but luckily they had a cover over their pergola on the patio.
• Strolled home at about 8:30 and wined about having to go back to work. Then bed.

 

Busy and happy weekend!

Weekending

What a beautiful weekend!  We headed north near where our son and DIL live for a long weekend away.  We had hoped that our newest granddaughter would be born while we were up there but she was stubborn and wasn't ready to join the world yet. Our poor DIL is so ready!

We made the best of our time away and enjoyed spectacular weather and had a wonderful time.  We camped in NY state along a beautiful creek - well they called it a river but it was pretty narrow. The days were right around 80 with evenings in the 50s - perfect camping weather.  We spent some time with the soon-to-be parents but also found time to kayak.

Friday we hit up a lake 40 minutes away.  It was a pretty lake but was a bit crowded with other boats and annoying kids on jet skis.  As we were making the turn towards the lake what did we spy - a yarn shop!  It wasn't open yet but we hit it up afterwards.  I wasn't going to go in since I really was dressed for kayaking - not shopping.  But the lady working was very sweet as I made apologies for my attire. Then we stopped for a quick bite and sat overlooking the lake.

We ended back at the camper for showers and reading and knitting along the water.  Our view was gorgeous.

Friday evening we spent with our son and DIL - taking them out for dinner.  Our DIL is going stir-crazy.  She teaches and school ended a week or so ago. She has been sticking close to home except for walking the dogs.  Friday morning she got the dogs harnesses on, struggled to get her sneakers on and went outside only to see this in their driveway.  No walk today!

We ended the day going to a music fest in their town - businesses sponsor various music groups.  We ended up at their favorite ice cream place enjoying a scoop and listening to the band and chatting.

Saturday we tried to go to one lake only to find the road to the boat access closed because of construction.  We headed in another direction and ended up at Rio Reservoir.  This ended up being a wonderful choice.  It was quiet and unbelievably gorgeous. We saw lots of other kayakers but didn't have to deal with motor boats or jet skis.  The sky was crystal clear and was so very quiet. We paddled to a hidden waterfall we had read about.  We saw bald eagles - my first time seeing them in the wild. One swooped down right in front of us and pulled a fish out of the water.  Very cool!  There were the remnants of an old wooden bridge to paddle in and out of and of course was great for pictures.  One thing with paddling on a lake vs. creek is that you have to paddle more!  We spent 3.5 hours on the water which made for some tired kayakers!

Then we got back to the camper, took showers and headed to a nearby winery for a glass of wine and some live music - an older guy playing acoustic guitar and singing.  He was really good! The setting was pretty - kind of rustic and woodsy.

Back to the campground for dinner over the fire, cocktails and a campfire.  It was a pretty great evening! And we had a visitor - not a bear thank goodness. But pretty cute.

Sunday we headed home - it took us forever because of construction on 81. Is there ever no construction on 81?  I think not.

So we are back home anxiously awaiting any baby news. The week will be a busy one as I have 8 dozen halupki (cabbage rolls) to make for a family reunion on Saturday.  I'm sure we will be travelling back up north at some point this week to meet our newest granddaughter - hopefully!  And I started a Whole 30 today.  Trying to get my eating back on track.

Joining Karen of Pumpkin sunrise for her Weekending posts.